My Brother.

The Lord gives you someone in your life that you know will always make you laugh, smile and stick by your side in whatever adventure or predicament you might get yourself into. We are not only fluent in the lanuage of sarcasm but we are known for our pranks, fights and unforgettable memories of tormenting each other. When it is all said and done, this person has always had my back and I have always had their's. We have been through hell and back, but we have never turned on each other. My best friend, my partner in crime or as everyone might know him as, my brother.

August 4, 2011 lands on a thursday and a day which will not only change my life but it will especially change my brothers. He isn't getting a sex change or deciding that he wants to be a blonde because they supposely have more fun. No! My dearest brother is getting married in the Salt Lake Temple. To whom you might ask? This ball n chain is a young lady named Hannah. For the longest time I never liked any of my brother's girlfriends or I always thought he could do better. This beautiful young lady changed my mind. They made me a firm believer that everyone has a better half. Even describing them as a couple, it is hard not saying cute, adorable and a little cheesy in the same sentence. With out a doubt, August 4 will not only be a magical and joyful day for the happy couple. August 4 is a day when I know my brother will be eternally happy and nothing makes me more grateful. I've always wanted more silblings growing up, but realized he is everything I asked for and more. Hannah and Andrew, I love you. I finally get the sister I have always wanted!

Fitting Inn is Out of Style.

A problem that has not only effected me but also has become a problem for many people around the world. Mostly targeting young teens and women, the problem has become more of an issue than ever. Low self esteem and stress is developing the awful emotion of increasing anxiety. The pressure to "fit in" is a heavy burden that seems to be carried on the backs of all ages. The atmosphere surrounding children and teens has worsen over the years from the growth of media and technology. Even though, technology is a helpful tool and resource but it is also one of the main targets of the causes of depression and low self esteem.

In the 21st century, there has been a numerous amount of high tech and available resources that has abled us to connect with our family and friends. There has been studies shown that Facebook and Myspace or even any social networks have caused the issues of low self esteem and depression. Whether it's a break up, rejection, or envy, cyberspace can feel real. Watching my friends find boyfriends, getting married, or even having children. Not meaning that you aren't happy for that person, but the trouble of hopefully one day I might have those opportunities as well. Can't help having those emotions of doubt and anxiety overwhelm that person. The media doesn't help by putting out there that you need to look a certain way. Women having that pressure and wanting that "glamorous" lifestyle seen on television; has caused deep anxiety, depression and the horrific and sad thought of an eating disorder. These issues are not uncommon problems and believe it or not there are solutions that will help you and even me with my low self esteem.

An easy solution is to get rid of any social network if it becomes a problem. You probably will save a lot more time on more proactive and worth wild things than wasting your time seeing what other people are doing with there life. With out a doubt, there are many ways to build your self esteem and one of the major ways is working out. It releases endorphins and always makes you feel great afterwards. Seeing a huge improvement by surrounding your self with positive and good people. Instead of being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. You gain this confidence by believing that you are unique, you are special, and that you deserve to have your dreams come true!

Don't try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best, do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations. Aiming for perfection in life is a lost cause because it is different things to different people. If you are trying to be perfect, you set yourself up for disappointment and failure. Instead, seek to achieve goals. For example,I take a class in the visual arts. The visual arts allow me to explore myself and find "perfection" in "imperfections". Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and less on the ones that you dislike. Remember no one is perfect and if they are then they are probably not from this world. Why would I compare myself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being me than me.

Loyal and Loving, a Man's Best friend.

When I think of a man's best friend, do I think of a cat? As a matter of fact, that is false accusation and it is an absurd and shocking thought. Dogs make the world go round and defensive cat lovers believe they are exotic and fancy. A simple task to explain why dogs are so much better than cats and I have many points to prove my theory.

First, dogs are always a consistent bundle of joy. Dogs think you’re the best person in the world even if you are grumpy. When you come home your dog will be they’re licking your face, jumping around and they are just excited and happy when they get to see you. While cats don’t notice you are there unless they are getting their food. Goes to show that dogs are so caring and genuine when it comes to their owner. A dog can sense when you are sad and they will comfort you to make you feel better, cats don’t give a rats behind. Dogs give you that comforting feeling that you are being protected and watched over. Those situations you might be confronted with, from a robber breaking in or a fire starting in your house. The dog will tell you, while the cat just pretends it never saw it or even worse just creep through the window if there was a fire.

Thinking dogs can't get any better than that, but as a matter of fact they can. Dogs are always ready and wanting to play with you. Dogs will play with a ball or a toy for as long as there energy will hold while the only things cats play with is a ball of yarn and mice. Dogs are not only good at overall play, but believe it or not they are good listeners. When you call your dogs name it will come running to you without fail, with a cat if it even knows its name it most likely wont come to you unless you have a can of food in your hand. When you talk to dogs they will make faces and tilt there head and try to work out what your saying while cats just meow and walk away.

The word unselfish means, willing to put the needs or wishes of others before one's own. Mine as well put the word dog in that sentence. Dogs will help you if you’re in trouble and most important they are extremely loyal to their owners, while cats only care about themselves. Dogs are even helpful with getting a ladies attention. If you are a guy do you think a cat will get the girls? The answer is with out a doubt no, only dogs will. Coming from a girl, there is nothing cuter than a puppy or a dog. Even better than that, dogs come in all shapes, colors and sizes to suit the owner’s needs. Cats are pretty boring and they only really vary in colors. It has even been proven that if a child is with a dog the first few years of their life it builds up their immune system and helps prevent asthma and sneezing allergies.

When it is all said and done, and the end of the day, the conclusion is dogs are better than cats. From many reasons I have listed, dogs are smarter then cats by fact and they will learn tricks and those basic commands easy, while having loads of fun. My experiences with dogs have only been happy, heart warming and a unforgettable friend. The definition of loyal, happy and a man's best friend is a fluffy and adorable dog.

The Tattle Tell.

When it all comes down to it, being the youngest in the family is one of the greatest advantages in life. First, we are known for being the world’s greatest example of getting spoiled. Although, that’s not always the case, our natural instincts are to observe, tattle and copy. Everyone has their own opinion and experience with their place in the family. Meanwhile, we all know that the youngest has the upper hand in the family from those predicaments we might get ourselves into.

Everyone in life is their own person, and makes decisions for themselves. Being the youngest you are always being compared to your older siblings and never for you as an individual. From your parents who always tells me why can't you be more like your brother or sister, or stating that your brother and sister did or didn't do this. I was never called by my name when it came to my sibling's friends. Getting compared comes with the territory of having that titled of the youngest. On the other hand, comparing myself to the older siblings can be my stepping-stone. Everyone makes mistakes and I can use that as advantage and observe those in my family. Having the main idea on how the world will play out and where to go after high school. What to do and ways that will help benefit me and my future. Although, I did learn to take a leap for myself and not always use them as a crutch.

No one likes to be the victim or being the focus for all the jokes. The word tease in Webster's dictionary, it says to annoy persistently. Webster doesn't even know the half of what I went through. From being pushed around, punched, poked, picked up and carried without request. My worst memory I can recall is when they would throw those fireworks snappers so hard against my skin that they would snap. They would always say, " We are only trying to rough you up a bit, preparing you for the outside world." Getting teased is not a pleasant experience. In the end, the result is that I have a higher tolerance of pain and easy going when it comes to sarcastic comments.

When holidays came around I would always get what I wanted especially if I pouted. Meaning the youngest is the epitome of spoiled. There is no doubt about it, a good trait to be acknowledge with. Although, having immunity in every situation is a great advantage. Immunity, meaning to get my way and escape blame for a certain issue. More so when I was younger, this super power came in handy. After constant teasing from the older siblings, there is one way to get my revenge. A natural reaction, the youngest will come to appreciate. I'd tattle, scream, call for help because my mom was my weapon. She was my key ingredients for my revenge. No matter what the situation is, I would come out on top. Parents have a special place in their heart for the youngest because I’m their baby. It doesn't matter if I did do it or didn't. If I blame and point fingers at one of the older siblings, I will have automatic immunity. It might sound evil, but nothing taste better then sweet revenge.

You can call me vicious, spoiled and cry babies. In the end, the older siblings are jealous of the advantages and powers we have in the palm of our hands. The traits the youngest starts out with might sound as an unfair disadvantage, turns out as becoming a benefit. We know what it is like to be pushed around and been compared to others our wholes lives. Regardless of those facts, we have observed our older siblings experiences throughout their lives. So when the time came, we where more prepared for the outside world. Our end conclusion, the youngest might just be naturally born as royalty.

Unlimited Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich's

Paradise is having zero responsibilities, taking glorious naps throughout the day, and the great advantage to eat whatever I want without counting calories. Childhood is not only a stage in life that everyone goes through; it is the epitome of play, sleep, and happiness. My view on the world was a place full of rainbows, puppies, and unlimited supply peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Playing house is not only synced into my system, it was a part of who I was as a kid. I was the ultimate pretend mom anyone, east side of Sandy Utah, has ever seen. Besides the point that playing house was my daily routine, but facts are that I wasn't girly.

For as long as I can remember, I was known as what you call a "tomboy". When my mother found out she was having a little girl she told me that she was more then excited. Dress me up like a princess and be the miniature her. I don't like to disappoint anyone, but when it came down to it, the end result was nothing close to her having a little princess she wanted. I pushed the Barbie’s dolls aside, and my stuffed animals were my main focus. Dresses made me gag, and getting my fingernails painted made it feel like the end of the world. Every time I was forced to get my nails done, I would tighten my fist so nobody could see a non-volunteered hideous princess that my mom wanted me to be. My mom rolled her eyes so much that I thought one day they might get stuck there.

I'm not the oddest kid in the candy store, but i have had a few experiences that have made me a peeved individual when it comes to certain things. I've had the bittersweet opportunity to have an older brother. For having that title, he has a responsibility to annoy those that are younger. Not loving that idea, I tattled like a champion. I have many memories of getting tormented, but one that I have remembered, I will never forget. It all began at the age of five. I was minding my own business, when out of nowhere the most horrible thing happened. My brother's idiotic mind decides to stick gum in my hair. I'm not sure what the motivation was but my theory is he was just jealous that I'm better looking. No matter what his reasons where, I went psycho. I ran around, screaming, not knowing what to do. My mom trying to calm me down, but I wasn't showing any mercy. When I saw my mom get those scissors out, I felt that there is no hope for my hair. It was so tangled in gum, and so horribly sticky. For those reasons, may seem stupid, but to this day I can honestly say that I haven't had one stick of gum. It is not something I tell people, and most don't know about it. I'll admit, it is something that is a unique and idiotic.

Not everyone can say that they had their five minutes of fame. I was on the 90's hit television show, " Touched By An Angel". The show is about angels helping others in their everyday life. When people found out this news, I became a third grader who was signing autographs for my fellow students. Being a part of something that is nationally heard of is an unforgettable experience. Everyone treated you with respect and set out to make you feel comfortable. As a kid, my favorite part was unlimited food, drinks, and sweets. I took advantage of that opportunity as frequent as I could. Even when I didn't have any lines or wasn't a main character on the show. In my opinion, I was the best background child they ever did see.

As a kid, I was clumsy, sloppy, and didn't know the meaning of sharing. The focus was on me, and me a lone. From my terrible twos until I became the frightening age of a teenager. When my looks actually started to matter, I learned the importance of hygiene and fashion. My childhood was no ordinary adventure. It was a journey that I enjoyed and sometimes wish I could go back too. On the other hand, I will be able to have my own children someday and give them a exciting childhood I was blessed to have. Even though, I'm an adult and I have responsibilities. There is always that inner child, waiting and wanting to escape.

Beauty Toys with Torment

A common phrase that I've heard throughout media, literature and reality is, " Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." A very true and wise statement that reminds me that the world is not as shallow and as vain from its usual comparison. There are a lot of roles, titles and even stereotypes that women are attached with. The main one is being a mother, nurture, and caregiver. Even though we don't have the pressure of being the breadwinner or the protector, instead women are constantly getting compared to other women. There is a constant tearing and judging by other women and men always trying to find the next best and jaw dropping tall drink of water. The pressure women have on our backs to be identified by the word, beautiful.

I grew up with the concept from entertainment that beautiful is a breath taking, 110 pound woman, with flawless skin that is smooth as a babies behind. The feeling that I might not possess these certain qualities overwhelms me with low self-esteem and disappointment. Looking at magazines, movies and television shows made me envious for as long as I can remember. Not having that size two body, and always being self conscious of my weight. At a point in time, I was so worried and depressed about the way I looked. I never wanted to leave the house. The commercials with appetizing meals, and the variety of those break through diets that promised rapid weight loss. It is an up and down roller coaster of emotions that brings anxiety, because looks are so important in the world and you are stuck with the genes God gave you. Doesn't help when the media treats women as a object rather then a human being. All I have to say is that men have it a lot easier then the average woman.

I would be more then happy to be tied down with a man that had six pack abs, but a man that jiggles a little is more than welcomed. The pressure men have to be the next Brad Pitt is far less complicated. I have met some of the most ignorant and prideful to the most sweetest and sensitive men. Not all men are pigs, but being in my twenty's all men are usually thinking about one thing. Lets just say, that it is not rainbows and cotton candy. As much as I hate to say it, our nation sways more towards men being superior to women. Society and personally knowing that there are negative pressures women seem to face. On the other hand, the older and more mature I become and the things that where so important before seems like an easy fix.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart," that is a quote by Kahili Gibran. Life's journey has taught me lessons that I have learned to appreciate as I have become older. The intentions of the heart, and the awe inspiring feeling of love can conquer any pressure of vain and shallow things that are associated with the outward appearance. The secret ingredient of life's adventure is inner beauty and the matters of the heart. The reason for why my recipe is that much sweeter and it is worth every calorie.

Finding Life's Passion

I've heard it from my mother my whole life, that work builds character and that she isn't a free money dispenser. My mother's wholesome advice inspired me to get my lazy and well relaxed behind, to go get a job. I worked at a pizzeria for my whole high school experience. Let me say, that not only was I an amazing pizza maker, I learned some unwanted lessons of hard labor. Pizza making isn't rocket science but it is an environment that can get intense, confusing, and having my arms and legs in nonstop commotion. I come to find out, if there is a satisfied customer there is a joyous and calm employee. Those horrific moments when the customer asked for no pepperoni and magically they appeared on their pizza, is a mysterious predicament. Getting yelled and threatened at for making tiny mistakes, that is easily fixable. People react like it is the end of the world or their dog just got ran over. I'm sorry to say, ladies and gentlemen, it is only just a pizza. Departing from that job was indeed a bittersweet experience. Making friendships that will last a lifetime but gladly not having the smell of greasy pizza after every workday. Not knowing it, another job landed in my lap, and it has changed my life forever.

The author, William Barclay said,” There are two great days in a person's life -- the day we are born and the day we discover why." I always thought that I was going to do something with art or anything in that general sense. Although, I still do it as a hobby, it is not what I'm most passionate about. Looking down the road I've had the title of; janitor, pizza maker, cashier, sister, daughter and even loyal friend. Some of those are greater than others, but pausing my life and my issues' and having total and complete focus on some one else is a humbling experience. The title I'm most proud and honored to be associated with is, caregiver.

I got the amazing opportunity to work with those that have special needs. I have worked with all ages and mostly work with those that have autism. From very low functioning to very high, the clients that I get to work with have a huge place in my heart that nobody can touch. I'm there to help them along in everyday life, and try to make them the most independent person they can be. Working in this field has made me a very patience and well rounded person. Better preparing me for the outlook on being a mother and the responsibilities of having a child. At times you have your bad moments, although those amazing and loving moments that nobody can take from you, make it all worth it. Being a coach for Special Olympics is a unforgettable and awe inspiring moment. I have never felt so much genuine love and kindness that seem to follow you everywhere you went at that event. I've met a lot of people in my lifetime, and to this day I have never met a greater example of God's love. I hope to have the honor to teach the special needs. Being able to walk beside and spend time with them throughout their life experiences. My job is to teach them new things everyday, but there is no question in my mind that, they are the ones teaching me.

Unexpected Heartache.

Life is a mysterious and unpredictable journey. Knowing first hand, those events that can either make or break a person. Having those certain experiences that are most memorable. From losing your virgin lips, to getting my first taste of a delightful Cafe Rio salad. Life has been a bizarre of a trip and having emotions of an up and down roller coaster. Humans natural born reaction is to judge people by their looks, body language, and personality. As far as I know the first impression to other people is a big deal and says a lot about that person. It is my human reaction to judge someone when I meet them, and I'm not ashamed to say that. On the other hand, I try my hardest not to judge because, I may not know what that person went through, and why that person is a certain way because of their life's journey. For almost a decade now, those people that don't know the truth, have judged my family.

Unfortunately, judgment's evil cousin is rumors. When it is the hot gossip at the time, the rumors spread like wild fire. It is bad enough when it happens to one person but when it happens to a whole family, it is an unwanted mess that you can't seem to clean up. The outstanding selfishness that one person could have, that is resulted in a broken family. That supposedly what my mother thought as her "better half", turned out to be a regret and heartache our family wanted to over come. An amazing mother that had such strength and strive to take down adversity. My brother and I had to get over the fact that someone from our own flesh and blood would do such a back stabbing action. Made me think that the love was all a show and that there was no longer the title of, "Daddy's Little Girl." If I'd focus on the negative, and chose to be the victim for the rest of my life, I would never get anywhere.

Behind every traumatic experience, a positive outcome is just waiting to surprise me. Life steers me in unexpected places that turns out to become a beautiful thing. Being forced to mature at such a young age, resulted in being more prepared for the present day. Being raised by a very strong willed mother, had made me a very independent woman. My mother drilled in my head to always achieve my goals, and never let anyone let me think otherwise. I want to set the record straight that my mom is a amazing and genuine person, and that trial in our families life had nothing to do with her. Over the years, that certain adversity has died down, and we are a more of an optimistic Brady Bunch. Of course, every family has its fights on occasion. In all honesty, what mother and daughter don't have their arguments at least once a month. Also known as P.M.S, that is known for its very short fuse, explaining the random unwanted outbursts. Obviously, that is what I'll blame my mood swings on.

The events that I have been through, have only made me a stronger and better person. The lessons that the people around me have taught me, like the meaning of patience and hope. Some adventures leave their scars, and sometimes they seem like they won't heal. Time can be my worse enemy, although what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. No matter how irritated and annoyed I can get with my family, I'm blessed to know that my mother and brother will never leave me. It is an endless love that nobody can destroy. A good feeling to scratch out the word victim thats associated with my name and replace it with champion.

Life is Music, and Music is Life!

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything." Which was a quote by the famous and legendary philosopher, Plato. From the past, present, and future, the world and particularly me, has and will be influenced by music. Which brings me to the question, would the world be as entertaining and inspiring place to live without our music? For me, answering that question, coming from someone who at least listens to her ipod an hour a day and a routine of having a dance party at least once a week. It is a no brainer question, resulting in the answer being, no.

  It is common sense that music is one of the major tools of inspiration. Knowing this from experience, my main hobby is art. There hasn't been a time where I haven't used music during my paintings or drawings. Countless times where I've been inspired to create or add on to one of my paintings just by listening to legends like; The Beatles, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan and even the great Frank Sinatra. Most musicians are inspired by listening to the their legends, and great performers of the past. What kind of world would it be without Justin Bieber and no Bieber fever? The teen pop superstar wouldn't be the heartthrob sensation he is today, without his all inspiring music that touched so many 12-year-old girls hearts. The over populated Bieber fans, screaming with overwhelming excitement and crying in his presents. On the other hand, that’s probably one thing I could live without.As a matter of fact, one of my best friend's band would have never existed. I'm giving a shout out to, FEATURING BEULAH!

  There is no question that music is inspirational, but it’s also an entertaining tool that will catch my attention. From the lyrics that will get stuck in my head, to the beat that may force me to tap my foot and get up and dance. Not only just devises that will help me show off my unforgettable dance skills. Music has a special role for being played in the background of movies and sitcoms. Scary movies wouldn't be as suspenseful without the music that usually brings tension and fear on the screen. How would I know when the shark was going to attack in the movie "Jaws" without those two intense musical notes? I know for a fact, I wouldn't watch as much television and movies if it didn't have that entertaining and exceptional background music.

Music is so much apart of the world and a big part of my own life. Its my stress reliever, my meditation, and the devise that influences me for knowing that there is a greater good and hope in this world. It’s a magical tool that can also fit any emotion that you might be feeling. It’s a excellent feeling blasting Metallica, a famous heavy metal band, after breaking up with a boyfriend or getting laid off from a job. Being able to take all my frustration and irritation by listening to the screaming, bass vibrating band. Music has influenced everyone on this planet some way, shape, or form. A world without music is not a world I would want to live in. When it all comes down to it all, the great Billy Joel sums it up for me by saying,” I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music."